Its been a while since I did this . . . posted a blog . . not the thinking. I do that occasionally.

Ever wonder what The Polar Express would be like if they replaced the hot chocolate with hot bacon? Kids, don’t try this at home.

I’m only now discovering that a bonus benefit of wearing a mask in this pandemic, is that it keeps your face warm on cold wintry days. And you can’t blow out candles wearing one.

I find myself extremely aware of my oral hygiene now that the face masks make me breathe my own breath. There needs to be a little pocket on the inside for breath mints.

Having turned 60 this year, and since its been 10 years or so since my last one, I had a colonoscopy on my mini-vacation (don’t judge me)
And let me preface this by complementing the staff at UPH/GRMC for their professionalism and care. Thank you. But . .
Look, we have put men on the moon, we got Shatner into space for real-zies, and some genius invented the spork . . .can we not develop the technology to come up with something better than the open back hospital gown? Give us something like comfy scrubs with a drop seat, or chaps, something that allows access to the nether regions without causing the billowing walk of shame when they’re walking you from the prep room to the operating theater. Yes, they threw a blanket over my shoulders, but my Thor-like cape billows too. My sincerest apologies to all the nurses who were along my route that morning. I’m pretty sure you didn’t sign up for that.

I appreciate the technology that allows you to get nearly instant reports back on the myhealth app. Its a good reference and something I can use on my resume . . .”exceptional job of cleansing”. You’re welcome. But based on the full color photo of my colon that they provided as well, they seem to have a very low bar if that is “Exceptional”. I’d hate to see their house. My wife refuses to let me use the picture for our Christmas Card this year.

Am I the only one who involuntarily jumps when somebody coughs now? And if its a little kid coughing, I’m getting up and moving. Sorry if its rude. Its not you, its me. And I’m O.K with that.

I recently celebrated a landmark . . not the 60 years rumbling around in this bio-mechanical suit of mine . . . the 38th anniversary of my first date with my wife. She brought me cake at a wedding. I asked her to marry me the next day. Say what you will, but I figured if I could get a beautiful, intelligent , talented woman to bring me cake once . . . .chances are she would do it again. NO WAY was I letting that get away.

And yes, just the other night I was sitting on the couch watching football and she brought me a piece of cake. BINGO!