Thoughts Thunk While Thinking . . .

Its been a while since I did this . . . posted a blog . . not the thinking. I do that occasionally.
Ever wonder what The Polar Express would be like if they replaced the hot chocolate with hot bacon? Kids, don’t try this at home.
I’m only now discovering that a bonus benefit of wearing a mask in this pandemic, is that it keeps your face warm on cold wintry days. And you can’t blow out candles wearing one.
I find myself extremely aware of my oral hygiene now that the face masks make me breathe my own breath. There needs to be a little pocket on the inside for breath mints.
Having turned 60 this year, and since its been 10 years or so since my last one, I had a colonoscopy on my mini-vacation (don’t judge me)
And let me preface this by complementing the staff at UPH/GRMC for their professionalism and care. Thank you. But . .
Look, we have put men on the moon, we got Shatner into space for real-zies, and some genius invented the spork . . .can we not develop the technology to come up with something better than the open back hospital gown? Give us something like comfy scrubs with a drop seat, or chaps, something that allows access to the nether regions without causing the billowing walk of shame when they’re walking you from the prep room to the operating theater. Yes, they threw a blanket over my shoulders, but my Thor-like cape billows too. My sincerest apologies to all the nurses who were along my route that morning. I’m pretty sure you didn’t sign up for that.
I appreciate the technology that allows you to get nearly instant reports back on the myhealth app. Its a good reference and something I can use on my resume . . .”exceptional job of cleansing”. You’re welcome. But based on the full color photo of my colon that they provided as well, they seem to have a very low bar if that is “Exceptional”. I’d hate to see their house. My wife refuses to let me use the picture for our Christmas Card this year.
Am I the only one who involuntarily jumps when somebody coughs now? And if its a little kid coughing, I’m getting up and moving. Sorry if its rude. Its not you, its me. And I’m O.K with that.
I recently celebrated a landmark . . not the 60 years rumbling around in this bio-mechanical suit of mine . . . the 38th anniversary of my first date with my wife. She brought me cake at a wedding. I asked her to marry me the next day. Say what you will, but I figured if I could get a beautiful, intelligent , talented woman to bring me cake once . . . .chances are she would do it again. NO WAY was I letting that get away.
And yes, just the other night I was sitting on the couch watching football and she brought me a piece of cake. BINGO!
Events Calendar
Calendar of Events
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4 events,
Newton V.F.W. BINGO
Jasper County RSVP Free Tax Assistance Program
Jasper County RSVP Free Tax Assistance Program
This program is for low and middle income taxpayers, in addition to those age 60 and older. […]
This Week in Marshalltown: Feb 27 – March 4
This Week in Marshalltown: Feb 27 – March 4
Wednesday, March 1 - Connect Marshalltown, Smokin' G's, 4:30 - 6 p.m. Thursday, March 2- Saturday, March 4- Marshalltown Community […]
Art Fundraiser At The Newton Public Libary
Art Fundraiser At The Newton Public Libary
Take home some amazing new art while supporting your library! Enjoy refreshments from the Friends of the […]
5 events,
Newton Community Theatre presents Angel Street
Newton Community Theatre presents Angel Street
Newton Community Theatre presents Angel Street (Formerly known as Gaslight) By Patrick Hamilton Production: March 3, 4, […]
Coffee & Connect presented by The Newton Chamber and Newton Main Street 3/2
Coffee & Connect presented by The Newton Chamber and Newton Main Street 3/2
"Coffee and Connect is an informal, free monthly series and collaboration between The Newton Chamber of Commerce, […]
6 events,
Kellogg Lions Breakfast
Kellogg Lions Breakfast
Saturday March 4th the Kellogg Lions is having a breakfast in the park at the cabin. It […]
Neal Smith Astrophotography Workshop
Neal Smith Astrophotography Workshop
What: Astrophotography Workshop When: Saturday, March 4 from 1:00 pm – 2:00 pm Where: Neal Smith National […]
5 events,
Lutheran Church of Hope-Capitol II Theatre Livestream
Lutheran Church of Hope-Capitol II Theatre Livestream
Lutheran Church of Hope – Local Newton Livestream Worship Service Every Sunday, 9:30 am Capitol II Theatre […]
4 events,
Newton V.F.W. BINGO
Jasper County RSVP Free Tax Assistance Program
Newton Community Theatre presents Angel Street
This Week in Marshalltown: March 6 – 12
This Week in Marshalltown: March 6 – 12
Monday, March 6 - Live On Stage presents Divas3, Marshalltown Preforming Arts Center, 7-9 p.m. Wednesday, March 8- Caffeinated Conversations, Iowa […]
5 events,
Jasper County Veterans Affairs Open House
Jasper County Veterans Affairs Open House
There will be an Open House @ Jasper County Veteran Affairs new offices at 315 W 3rd […]
5 events,
Newton Masons March Pancake Breakfast
Newton Masons March Pancake Breakfast
The Newton Masons will be holding their March pancake breakfast on Saturday, March 11th, from 7:00-9:00AM. Pancakes, […]
5 events,
Lutheran Church of Hope-Capitol II Theatre Livestream
Lutheran Church of Hope-Capitol II Theatre Livestream
Lutheran Church of Hope – Local Newton Livestream Worship Service Every Sunday, 9:30 am Capitol II Theatre […]
2 events,
Newton V.F.W. BINGO
Jasper County RSVP Free Tax Assistance Program
3 events,
This Week in Marshalltown: March 13-19
This Week in Marshalltown: March 13-19
Friday, March 17 -St. Patrick's Day Dance, Midnight Gardens, 6-9 p.m. Friday, March 17 - Live Music by Phil Shipley, […]
4 events,
Free Movie At Capitol 2 Theatre 3/13 & 3/15
Free Movie At Capitol 2 Theatre 3/13 & 3/15
The Movie Minions The Rise Of Gru is being shown for free at The Capitol 2 Theatre […]
5 events,
Newton American Legion St Patricks Dinner 3/17
Newton American Legion St Patricks Dinner 3/17
American Legion having a St. Patrick dinner. March 17th 5:30PM-Gone $10.00 cornbeef & Cabbage with red potato […]
8 events,
Prarie City Blood Drive 3/18
Prarie City Blood Drive 3/18
PRAIRIE CITY-MONROE BLOOD DRIVE When: Saturday, MARCH 18 th TIME: 7:15 am—10:30 am WHERE: First Reformed Church […]
Prairie City Pancake Breakfast
Prairie City Pancake Breakfast
LIONS PANCAKE BREAKFAST The Prairie City Lions Club is having their monthly pancake breakfast Saturday morning MARCH […]
Jasper Co League of Women Voters Hosting Legislative Gathering
Jasper Co League of Women Voters Hosting Legislative Gathering
There will be a Legislative Gathering this Saturday, March 18th at 10:00 am, at the Newton Library, […]
Smartphone Photography 101 Workshop
Smartphone Photography 101 Workshop
What: Smartphone Photography 101 Workshop When: Saturday, March 18 from 10:00 am – 12:00 pm Where: Neal […]
Mulligan Stew Supper
Mulligan Stew Supper
Mulligan Stew Supper on Saturday, March 18 from 5 to 7 pm at the Immaculate Conception Catholic […]
5 events,
Jasper County Take Away Hunger 3/25/
Jasper County Take Away Hunger 3/25/
Holy Trinity Lutheran Church will host the Jasper County Take Away Hunger meal packing event on Saturday, […]
Lutheran Church of Hope-Capitol II Theatre Livestream
Lutheran Church of Hope-Capitol II Theatre Livestream
Lutheran Church of Hope – Local Newton Livestream Worship Service Every Sunday, 9:30 am Capitol II Theatre […]
3 events,
Newton V.F.W. BINGO
Jasper County RSVP Free Tax Assistance Program
Newton Community Theatre Auditions
Newton Community Theatre Auditions
Getting Gary By Brian Mitchell Directed by Mary Thompson Production: June 2, 3, 4, 9, 10 & 11, […]
3 events,
This Week in Marshalltown: March 20-26
This Week in Marshalltown: March 20-26
Wednesday, March 22 -Trivia Night, Tannin, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Thursday, March 23 -Trivia Night, Tannin, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Friday, March 24 - Daddy […]
4 events,
Newton Public Library Board Meeting 3/23
Newton Public Library Board Meeting 3/23
A meeting of the Newton Public Library Board will take place at 4 p.m. Thursday, March 23rd […]
4 events,
Tour Newton By Bus 3/24
Tour Newton By Bus 3/24
You can tour Newton on March 24th. Take a free bus tour of Newton to learn what […]
6 events,
Ham Ball Supper 3/25
Ham Ball Supper 3/25
A ham Ball Supper is being held Saturday, March 25th starting at 4:30 until they are gone […]
Need Jasper County Volunteers to Take Away Hunger
Need Jasper County Volunteers to Take Away Hunger
Holy Trinity Lutheran Church will host the Jasper County Take Away Hunger meal packaging event on Saturday, […]
PCM Fine Arts Showcase 3/25
PCM Fine Arts Showcase 3/25
PCM Fine Arts Boosters presents the 2023 Fine Arts Showcase fundraising event. Featuring and art gallery and […]
4 events,
Lutheran Church of Hope-Capitol II Theatre Livestream
Lutheran Church of Hope-Capitol II Theatre Livestream
Lutheran Church of Hope – Local Newton Livestream Worship Service Every Sunday, 9:30 am Capitol II Theatre […]
2 events,
Newton V.F.W. BINGO
Jasper County RSVP Free Tax Assistance Program
3 events,
Jasper County Concert Association Concert 3-30-23
Jasper County Concert Association Concert 3-30-23
The Jasper County Concert Association will welcome Sean Altman and Jack Skuller to the stage at the […]
3 events,
Mercy One Newton Auxiliary offering health-related scholarships.
Mercy One Newton Auxiliary offering health-related scholarships.
Mercy One Newton Medical Center Auxiliary is proud to offer scholarships to local residents once again this […]
4 events,
Kellogg Pancake Breakfast 4/1
Kellogg Pancake Breakfast 4/1
Kellogg Lions is having a breakfast at the cabin in Kellogg saturday April 1, all you can […]
Free Concert For Kids April 1st
Free Concert For Kids April 1st
An afternoon of music, movement, and fun is coming to Newton on Saturday, April 1st at 1:30 […]
3 events,
Lutheran Church of Hope-Capitol II Theatre Livestream
Lutheran Church of Hope-Capitol II Theatre Livestream
Lutheran Church of Hope – Local Newton Livestream Worship Service Every Sunday, 9:30 am Capitol II Theatre […]