I love to travel. And I had an AMAZING trip to Germany for Oktoberfest recently.

But that being said . . .

Until you travel outside the good ol’ US of A, you’ll never know how great it really is. Not to get all Donald Trumpy here, but man! America is a great place. I know we have our problems, but one that we don’t have, at least here in the Midwest . . .

You don’t have to pay to potty!

It doesn’t seem like a big problem, until you’re short of change (whatever they call the less than Euro coins) and you gotta go. That’s when you find out who your friends are. THANK GOD i have great friends with loose change. Pretty much everywhere except your hotel, it’s literally “Pay as you go”.

Potties are plentiful and accessible!

Again, we probably don’t think twice because we have free public restrooms in our parks, at our convenience stores, gas stations, truck stops, restaurants, etc. That’s not the case in Germany (and other European countries) And if you can find a restroom, you gotta pay (see above)

European bathrooms are going to save the world!

Or at least they think they will. They have these eco-friendly commodes that use less water (or so they think). That theory is shot down the moment the Ugly American (yeah that’s me) needs to flush SEVERAL times to get the job done. Nuff said. My new friend John (real guy , not a commode) had a smart commode in his room (he had REALLY nice hotel) that the lid would automatically open when he approached it. Shades of Ali Baba! Open Sesame! Probably good that I didn’t have one of those. After the first time I used it, it would probably clamp shut when it saw me coming the next time.

Oh, and there is NO PRIVACY! The nice bathroom attendants who get the money you pay for going potty, have NO compunction about coming in and doing their job, while you’re doing yours! If you have any trouble performing before an audience (if you know what I mean) you’re gonna hate it there. And why do they bother putting doors on the bathrooms. They’re always left open, and you get a stink-eye from locals if you try to close it. Like I’M the PERVERT,?!?!? And they have an affinity for glass in hotel room bathrooms. Have they not heard of shower curtains? See?